Sunday Funday: Father’s Day Edition

Randy Rainbow – you got to love him:

Happy Father’s Day to all you Dads out there. Doing the job of being a father is both highly rewarding and never ending. I would like to thank my kids who, despite my stumbling and bumbling ways, turned into top notch humans. 

Every father has a story of how they messed with their kids now and then. My favorite was shortly after my eldest got her driver’s license. One day she asked me for some money to buy gas for her car. I gave her some money. She started to go out the door and noticed my car was behind hers. I flipped her my keys and told her to “just go ahead and take mine.”

About ten minutes later she came backed looking quiet miffed. “You did that on purpose!” She yelled at me. Yep. My car was full of gas thanks to her.

Well as should be no surprise to anyone, the US seems to be doing anything it can to provoke another war against Iran. We had an incident in the Middle East that sure looks similar to the Gulf of Tonkin back in 1964.

  1. Dear Leader pulled out what appeared to be a blank paper from his breast pocket in front of the press and claimed it was what?
  1. What former major league baseball start was shot at point blank range in the Dominican Republic in an apparent hit job?
  1. Talk about a power couple! What cabinet secretary allegedly created a special path for her senator/husband’s state to get special treatment?
  1. After losing an election for the governorship of Virginia in 2017 because his campaign was way too racist, who was name as the acting head of Citizenship and Immigration Services Monday?
  1. 47 years ago tomorrow, five men were arrested at what location in Washington DC to start what would become one of the most followed stories in this county’s history?
  1. June is gay pride month. What country was the first to legalize gay or same sex marriage?
  1. Iowa attained some unwanted publicity this week when a U of Iowa professor calculated that Iowa led the country in the production of what?
  1. Could be someone’s dream job. What administration member announced she would be leaving a job she has performed only once in the past six months?
  1. What truly exotic vacation destination announced it would be accepting tourists beginning next year at the low, low price of $35,000 a night?
  1. An earthquake registering 4.4 on the Richter scale had its epicenter in what Great Lake Monday?
  1. Deja Vu? What former Nixon administration official testified before the House Judiciary committee Monday?
  1. Speaking of testimonies before congress, former TV star Jon Stewart pleaded for money for what group before a congressional committee last week?
  1. Canada announced it would ban single use plastics by what year this past week?
  1. Dear Leader once again showed his disdain for our laws when he told ABC’s George Stephanopoulos that he (Dear Leader) would take what from foreign governments?
  1. Alabama last week passed a bill to permit what punishment for those found guilty of child sex abuse?
  1. Major addresses by Democratic presidential candidates this week included a defense of democratic socialism by which candidate?
  1. Another major address was a foreign policy speech by what relatively young candidate?
  1. Everything Dear Leader touches gets screwed up or dies. Among the dead is a friendship oak tree planted on White House grounds by Dear Leader and what other world leader?
  1. Thousands (maybe a million or more) took to the streets in what international city to protest a pending extradition law?
  1. What cabinet level department announced the move of one of its major agencies from Washington DC to Kansas City, Mo. Thursday?

From the Onion:

Pence Visits Conversion Therapist For Routine Gay-Preventative Checkup

WASHINGTON—Sitting in the waiting area while ignoring the screams he heard emanating from the exam room, Vice President Mike Pence reportedly visited his conversion therapist Thursday for a routine gay-preventative checkup. “I feel completely heterosexual right now, but I still like to visit the doctor every six months or so to just to be safe,” said Pence, noting that he didn’t enjoy receiving electric shocks on his genitals while staring at photos of naked men, but it was worth it to ensure he didn’t come down with a case of full-blown gayness later on. “Maybe I’m a hypochondriac when it comes to contracting homosexuality, but I’m a busy guy and I’d rather have a spiritual intervention early on than risk missing work to recover from being attracted to men. Plus, now that it’s June it seems like everyone is gay so I need to be extra careful. I’m so lucky my insurance covers yearly gay-prevention appointments.” At press time, Pence was preparing to be lobotomized in an effort to fully immunize himself from dangerous homosexual thoughts.

Just getting the nuts adjusted and the rear end scoped.

Answers:

  1. A secret agreement with Mexico. Mexico said there was no such thing.
  1. David Ortiz (Big Papi)
  1. Transportation Secretary Eline Chou and her husband Mitch McConnell
  1. Ken Cucinelli
  1. The Watergate Hotel
  1. The Netherlands in 2001
  1. Manure 
  1. Sarah Sanders
  1. The space station. But the ride to the space station will cost you $50 million
  1. Lake Erie near Cleveland – very rare
  1. John Dean
  1. 9/11 first responders
  1. 2021 – pretty aggressive
  1. Dirt on his opponent
  1. Chemical castration
  1. Bernie Sanders
  1. Pete Buttigieg
  1. France’s President Macron
  1. Hong Kong
  1. Agriculture

From Newsweek Dec. 13, 2018:   

White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said she hoped her legacy would be that people viewed her as “transparent and honest.”

And I want to be remembered as the person who never aged.

About Dave Bradley

retired in West Liberty
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