So much of what is going on in politics is so ludicrous that it seems like our daily lives are a script written for Saturday Night Live or a story from the Onion or from Andy Borowitz. It ain’t. When you hear stories like the current president not seeming to understand that Puerto Rico is part of the United States or that our governor suddenly averts a budget crisis with money appearing in the treasury from who knows where it sure feels like we are part of someone’s fertile comedic mind. Now reality is giving the comedic arts a run for their money.
With that as an intro, let me share this little joke from an online forum. The creator of this joke is 10 years old or so his Dad claims:
Q: “How is Trump like a Halloween pumpkin?” A: “They are both orange on the outside, hollow on the inside and should be thrown out in November.”
So here we go with our weekly (or maybe better ‘weakly’?) attempt to keep up with the news.
1) Who made big headlines last Sunday by leaving a football game before it even started?
2) Fires continue to race through what particular agricultural section of California?
3) What Republican governor threatened to leave his party if the rifts aren’t fixed?
4) Talk about fake. What presidential impersonator will be headlining the Iowa Democrats fall fundraiser November 27th?
5) The current president declared the “disgusting the press is able to write whatever it wants to write” when asked a question concerning what plans for our nuclear arsenal?
6) A suspected anthrax outbreak is blamed for the death of more than 100 what in Namibia last week?
7) The Canadian division of what once giant American retailer is set to liquidate its assets and go out of business?
8) 55 years ago tomorrow, Oct. 16, 1962, the US became aware of what in Cuba in an incident that threatened nuclear war?
9) Speaking of nuclear war, what Republican senator stated last week that Trump “may be setting the U.S. on the path to World War III.”?
10) Good old partisan Chuck Grassley claims that what rifle accessory was “made legal in the Obama Administration”?
11) The current president announced he would not certify nuclear treaty compliance with what country last week?
12) As part of his tweet storms this week, the current president threatened to pull FEMA and the military from humanitarian mission where?
13) The current president used an appearance by what former Sec. Of State to claim his guest was tired of paying high Obamacare premiums?
14) October 18th, 1954 Texas Instruments ushers in the electronics age by introducing what for sale to the public?
15) An obviously hurt president challenged his Sec. of State to a battle of what kind of test? (to prove he wasn’t a moron, I guess?)
16) In sports, the US men’s team failed to qualify, but Iceland’s men’s team did qualify for what world contest next year?
17) Harvey Weinstein, what did he do?
18) Yet what other Republican senator – from a neighboring state – came in for harsh words from the current president?
19) What long established group for boys and young men will begin admitting girls in 2018?
20) Will they or won’t they? Will NFL players be forced to stand for the national anthem like the current president claims or not stand like the NFL commissioner claims?
Andy Borowitz on Facebook: Obamacare combines two things Trump hates: Obama and the verb “to care.”
1) VP Mike Pence. Who cares why?
2) the wine country of northern California
3) Kasich of Ohio. Don’t hold your breath
4) Alec Baldwin
5) his supposed plans to increase our arsenal ten fold
8) missiles – this was the beginning of the Cuban missile crisis
9) Bob Corker from Tennessee
10) bump stocks. Instead of shifting blame why not fix the problem, Chuckles?
12) Puerto Rico
13) Henry Kissinger. 94YO Henry Kissinger who surely has nothing to do with the ACA
14) the transistor radio
15) IQ test. Yes, he really did
16) Soccer’s World Cup
17) a long history of sexual harassment
18) Ben Sasse from Nebraska
19) Boy Scouts
20) My guess is players will still kneel and set off another tweet storm.
The best quote from last week from Senator Bob Corker: It is a “shame” that the “White House has become an adult day care center.”