All I Can Do Is Laugh At Them

I am laughing at Republicans. This guy is serious (30 minutes):

Holy cow! I woke up Wednesday morning and after the morning ablutions I checked to see who won what in the primaries Tuesday. Like most here I was really curious about the Wahls / Turek contest. It made no difference as to who I would be voting for in November. My ballot will be very blue I am sure. But like so many things we all want to be among the first to know.

So with that, I offer congratulations to Josh Turek and a promise for some small dollar donations in the future. I believe Turek has a story that most Iowans can emphathize with. Someone would have to be pretty heartless not to be inspired by this young man.

Then I turned my attention to the other race whose outcome was in doubt. That was the MAGA nomination to run for Governor against Democrat Rob Sand. The candidates running on the MAGA side were a strange contingent of far right wingers all running on the mythology that the right can do no wrong. This myth is, of course, wrong.

Front running candidate Randy Feenstra ran his race by not running. This is a strategy that front runners have employed often. I don’t know how often this strategy works or how often it fails, but I do know that it is always amusing to see someone pull the reins on their lust for power by pretending they have no lust for power.

My take on Feenstra’s ploy is that he made himself appear to look down on the average voter. He couldn’t lower himself to meet the lowly voter or put in some work to get what he wanted. Even a last minute endorsement from the MAGA gawd nor an ad blitz could save his butt.

When I looked at the results Wednesday, I had to read the reports to see what the candidates had to say. My reaction to the MAGA winners was one of laughing in incredulity. Zach Lahn sounded like he was doing an audition to replace Colbert. I want to thank the iowacapitaldispatch.com for their report which I will riff from. Here are some of Lahn’s comments with my reaction:

“I fear every day we are losing the Iowa we love. We’ve lost 10,000 family farms since 2000. Our young people are leaving faster than 46 other states because they don’t see enough opportunity here,” Lahn said. “Wall Street hedge funds and foreign interests are buying and selling their land, driving up costs, so our kids are priced out of the market. They treat Iowa land like it’s a commodity instead of our inheritance. They treat us like numbers, not neighbors. This is over when I’m governor.”

Well, you nitwit, this is what Republican policy has done. Thanks for pointing out the problem. One thing I know is that electing more Republicans at any level will not help this problem. I will be sure to let folks know.

As governor, Lahn said he would ban secret land ownership and tax hedge funds to bring money back to Iowa families as well as “take on the big ag cartels and break up their monopolies.”

He also brought up Iowa’s high cancer rates, saying he will find out what “big ag and big pharma” companies know about the safety of their products and direct state universities to fight the cancer rates.

You are saying you will take on entities like the Farm Bureau? Bayer? John Deere? Do you know your party crafts legislation that makes it so these entities can screw Iowans over? Do you know your party is in a battle with Iowa’s university system.Big talk, can’t wait to see you walk.

The fight to lower Iowa’s cancer rates “should have happened long ago,” Lahn said, but “politicians like Rob Sand” have ignored it as “corporate interests have pillaged our state.”

As auditor Rob Sand had nothing to do with cancer rates. Also, the Republican legislature stripped Sand of his ability to do what auditors are supposed to do. Blaming him sure makes you look stupid. It also plants a red flashing light reminding Iowans that Republicans have held all power in this state for at least a decade. Why has your party done nothing? Do you think they will finally start? I doubt it.

Those were a couple of examples that leapt from the page for me. They made me laugh at his ignorance. I fully expect his campaign to be one gaff after another. I may pay attention to his campaign, because one thing I need more of is laughs.

Oh and of course the topper was his promise to “be in Iowa as much as humanly possible.” Well, geez, Zach we hate to put you out. Most Iowans already know you allegiance is to Kansas.