Whodunit? Who wrote that op-ed to the New York Times? Who is the dastardly ungrateful peon who dare bite the small hand that feeds him or her? We know it is not the presidential pet because this family has no pet. So it must be a human. An ungrateful human who dare take a paycheck with one hand while scribbling a spiteful op-ed with the other.
This shall not stand! The greatest sleuth of all time, Detective Dear Leader, will search every nook and cranny for the perpetrator! Is it his wily vice-president? The White House attorney he just fired? One of the maids? Maybe a sullen son-in-law/ all around aide? Maybe the Prime Minister of Canada? That guy has been a real pain for Dear Leader and Dear Leader would love to fire his butt!
Detective Dear Leader is on the Job!
How can so much happen is so little time?
- Racist robocalls from an Idaho white supremacist group into iowa following the death of Molly Tibbetts are targeting what minority?
- Colin Kaepernick has been black balled by the NFL but now has a new job as the new face for what athletic brand?
- “I am Spartacus.” This movie line was uttered by what US senator as he defied a threat of expulsion from the senate by Republicans and released confidential documents?
- Who was named to replace recently deceased Senator John McCain? Note: he has an Iowa connection
- In a strange turn, the New Yorker invited and then disinvited what former administration member?
- Fire destroyed the national museum of what country last Sunday?
- Rahm Emmanuel surprised most everyone when he announced he would not run for re-election as mayor of what city?
- Actor Burt Reynolds died Thursday. His first prominent role was on what long running TV western?
- What California politician facing House ethics charges, was revealed to have spent campaign funds on at least five affairs?
- What head of the Senate Judiciary Committee dumped 42,000 pages of documents on committee members just hours before hearings began on SCOTUS nominee Brett Kavanaugh?
- Once again Dear Leader threatened to leave what country out of NAFTA?
- 9/11 will be the release date for a new book on Dear Leader by what long time Washington, DC reporter?
- Who was roundly criticized for texting during John McCain’s funeral service?
- What former senate candidate is suing Sacha Baron Cohen for $95 million over the candidate’s appearance on Cohen’s Showtime series?
- We will be facing the Sounds Of Silence as what music legend retires from his craft in a couple of weeks as his farewell tour comes to an end?
- One pair ruby slippers from “The Wizard Of Oz” were recovered last week in Minneapolis after having been stolen from a museum where in 2005?
- Heee’s back! Who made a very political speech at the U of Illinois Friday kicking off a tour to help elect Democrats this fall?
- Known as “Russia’s favorite congressman” what California House member announced his intention to chair the House Science, Space and Technology Committee Friday?
- 105 years ago tomorrow what famous highway opened as the first paved road that went from coast to coast?
- What senior administration official failed miserably in an attempt to have the New York Times flooded with phone calls over the anonymous op-ed denigrating Dear Leader?
It’s football season! Here is The Onion’s take on what’s happening in the world of football: (2 videos in one)(3 minutes)
- Nike – “Just do it”
- Corey Booker of New Jersey
- Former Arizona senator Jon Kyl. Kyl’s father was a congressman from Iowa.
- Steve Bannon
- Duncan Hunter. Remember last week he said his wife was actually in charge of the campaign funds
- Our own Chuck Grassley
- Bob Woodward
- Ivanka Trump
- Roy Moore
- Paul Simon
- Grand Rapids, Minnesota – the girlhood home of Judy Garland
- Barack Obama
- Dana Rohrabacher – but he better get re-elected first
- The Lincoln highway
- Sarah Huckabee Sanders
Andy Borowitz – “Republicans Accuse Obama of Blatantly Pandering to Nation’s Highest Ideals”