There has been simply a torrent news this week from Ukraine to Maralago to continuing good news on the economic front. So it seems like a good time for a certain governor who just never seems to have a clue what is going on with her state’s citizens to take a big step and announce:

A Brand Spanking New State Slogan!

Just what Iowa needs as Iowa women become second class citizens valued for their breeding ability, the state’s public school system is being dismantled with a big smile by the governor herself, books are getting banned just like in a real totalitarian state and many other problems that the governor wants you to forget about.

That old slogan “Fields Of Opportunity” was pretty much of a dud, so we only kept it for 24 years. What ever message it was supposed to send never seemed to be clear, but to be honest nobody really seemed to care.

So get ready – the new slogan is “Freedom To Flourish.” 

I first read it as “Flushing Our Freedoms.” I probably made that mistake by reading ‘flourish” as “flush” and just started to think about the reality of what is happening in this state right now. Mine is probably closer to reality than the governor’s yet mine might be viewed as negative.

As often happens in these cases, when some muckety muck tries to cover over obvious problems with a cutesy quote I think many of us start thinking of alternative slogans that are closer to reality or at least lets the air out of the slogan balloon. This is, of course, a game you can play at home, or in the car or with the kids.

Well, here we go. This is one I believe Iowa has aspired to since Branstad came back to haunt us in 2011:

“Iowa: We Want To Be Mississippi!”

Since Republicans have had the trifecta in government for a while, it sure seems like our buddy states now are the old confederacy so:

“Iowa: Joining The Confederacy A Little Late”

There is the trend of young Iowans leaving the state. This is a trend that the legislature probably accelerated last year.

“Iowa: I Used To Live There”

There is a real meme that was and probably still is going around the internet:

“What The Hell Happened To Iowa?”

Highlighting our renewed anti-reproductive law:

“Iowa: Only The Women Are Second-Class Citizens”

Or something that points out our location:

“Iowa: Gateway To Minnesota”

Or we can highlight our tussle with books:

“Books? We Don’t Need No Stinking Books” or

“Iowa: Leave Your Books At The Border”

There are a couple of more that might be a bit too over the top that have crossed my brain. But it is fair time so it’s time to relax and do other things.

From Thursday’s High Five: (email from Progress Iowa)

REYNOLDS USED FEDERAL $ FOR BRAND CAMPAIGN: Gov. Reynolds spent over $300,000 of federal dollars on the new marketing plan for Iowa’s “freedom to flourish” campaign despite previously rejecting federal dollars for programs that could actually help Iowa flourish. Instead of spending money convincing people that Iowans have the freedom to thrive, maybe Iowa Republicans could simply stop passing laws that ban us from doing so. Just a thought…