In a very unusual accident, a school bus carrying what appeared to be clowns on their way to some mutual appearance, flipped on its side. The driver and passengers were quickly examined at a local hospital and pronounced physically fit. There was some concern that many may have received a bump on their heads, based on their statements and actions following the tip over.
Driver Muhammed Garcia said the bus was moving quietly down the interstate as passengers slept. However, as they slowly woke up, each passenger seemed to ascertain their position on the bus relative to others and began to move to the right. One by one as they woke each tried to get further right than any of the others. In a short space of time all passengers were trying to push their way out of the right side of the bus. All the weight on one side caused the tip over.
Mr. Garcia said he tried several times to get the passengers back to their seats, but as soon as his back was turned, each once more rushed to the right. He could not give a reason for this action. “Strangest thing I have ever seen. Each clown insisted he was further to the right than any other clown. Then they would, in turn, try to run through the right side of the bus.”
The driver also noted that the passengers refused to wear the seat belts. The clown named Rick from Texas told a reporter that the gummint had no right to tell him what to do. All the other clowns agreed. When taken to the hospital for a quick checkup, many of the clowns refused to be helped until they were assured that the hospital was “100% private and not run by the gummint.”
As clowns were returned to the bus a pool of reporters had gathered. Clown Mike the Preacher claimed Obama had caused the bus to tip over with his policies that prevented buses from being built that could carry everyone sitting on the right. Clown Dead-eye Scott claimed the bus had been built by unions and was thus defective. Clown Brother Jebby claimed terrorists caused the accident. Clown Lady Lyndsey wanted troops sent in immediately.
As the bus was uprighted, Clown Donald the Red claimed he lost a major piece of his wardrobe, probably stolen by our illegal president. Suddenly many of the clowns spotted what was thought to be a red rat. Several unloaded the contents of their concealed carry guns into the object which turned out to be a red hairpiece. Clown Rick from Texas claimed the kill.
As passengers returned to the bus, Clown Rick of Foster Friess reminded all to believe in Jesus and their journey would proceed without problem. Clown Marco not Polo claimed Fidel Castro had coordinated the accident with ISIS. Clown Canada Cruz told some truly tasteless jokes which only he seemed to understand. Finally, Clown Randy Dandy summed it all up with this statement “Where are we? Who are these people? Why won’t anyone play with me? DAAAAD!”
Driver Garcia noted that after the bus was upright, seats on the left side of the bus were turned to face backwards. Thus when the half sitting on the left tried to move furthest to the right they would counter balance those on the right side of the bus when they tried to move furthest to the right. Mr. Garcia noted that the passengers seemed unable to tell if they were going forward, backward or standing still.
Passengers were scheduled for a joint appearance in Boone at noon today.