Filling In For God
by Molly Ivins
Alternet.org
The Lord
Impersonator is back again. This fella reappears every couple of years
and causes no end of trouble. The jokester goes around persuading
feeble-minded persons he is the Lord Almighty and that they are to do
or say some perfectly idiotic thing under his instructions.
One of
the worst cases we've had in Texas was the time the Lord Impersonator
convinced 20 people in Floydada to git nekkid, get into a GTO and drive
to Vinton, La., where they ran into a tree. Seein' 20 nekkid people,
including five children, come out of a GTO startled the Vinton cops.
The nekkid citizens all said God told them to do it.
Quite a
few people have been mishearing the Lord lately. The Rev. Pat Robertson
thinks the Lord told the people of Dover, Pa., they shouldn't ask for
His help anymore because they elected a school board Robertson doesn't
like. And Rep. Richard Baker of Louisiana said right after Hurricane
Katrina that “we finally cleaned up public housing in New Orleans. We
couldn't do it, but God did it.”
I kind
of doubt Katrina was designed by the Lord as a form of urban renewal. I
think it's a big mistake for us to go around putting our own puny
interpretations on stuff that happens and then claiming the Lord meant
thus-and-such by it. It is my humble opinion that some folks should do
a lot more listening to God and a lot less talking for Him.
In that
category, I put a whole passel of politicians — including that
God-fearing professional patriot Rep. “Duke” Cunningham of San Diego.
Cunningham resigned his office after pleading guilty to having accepted
$2.4 million in bribes from defense contractors. “Duke's” big cause in
Congress was to get a constitutional amendment to ban flag-burning.
Which do you think is more unpatriotic: burning a flag to indicate
desperate dissent against American policy or getting elected to
Congress and selling out for a Rolls Royce and some antique commodes?
Rep. Tom
DeLay, who is under indictment in Texas, is another fine parser of the
Lord's intent. According to Mother Jones magazine, DeLay appeared at a
prayer breakfast just after the tsunami that killed 240,000 people.
“DeLay read a passage from Matthew about a nonbeliever: '… a fool who
built his house on sand: the rain fell, the floods came, and the winds
blew and buffeted the house, and it collapsed and was completely
ruined.' Then, without comment, he righteously sat down.”
To read the rest of this article, click here:
Blog For Iowa 
On behalf of Christians everywhere, I apologize for the behavior of Pat Robertson, Duke Cunningham and Tom DeLay. I also recognize that there are a fair number of Christians and non-christians from all portions of the political spectrum who don't act very (insert name of deity of choice here)-like. I hope everyone else does too…but Molly's gotta sell her column somehow, now doesn't she? 😉
Doug
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Dear Folks,
I say this as a Christian. If you want to know God's Word, read the Bible. Both Old and New Testament. I also say this. Be careful of who you listen to as well.
As far as apologizing for people like Robertson and so forth. I will not. I can only apologize for my own behavior. I'm not responsible for anyone else's.
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Falwell, and Robertson and the like SAY they interpret the bible literally although they sure don't seem to reflect that stance with regard to the New testament. An although I too know and love Christ and enjoy reading and learning from many of the scribes of old, it is my belief that the reason the good Lord himself refrained from writing anything down is because he did not want that which was written in books to take precedence over that which is written upon the human heart. Truth is living and requires sipiritual discernment in every day and age.
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