Michael Moore’s 2004 Slacker Tour Visits Ames

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Michael Moore in Ames

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Some of
the gathered faithful (estimates range from 7,000 to 12,000, depending
on your source) left, due to the 90 minute wait. Those of us who had
arrived late, anyway, were gratified to arrive in time for the entire
event. Doors were to have opened at 4:30 p.m.; the speech was scheduled
for 7:30 p.m. The speech didn’t get underway until closer to 9:00 p.m.  

The
faithful stayed and were not disappointed. All floor seats were filled
and the entire lower bowl was full. Because of a large video screen, no
seating behind the screen (and Moore, onstage) was possible. Upper bowl
seats were empty, but, with a capacity of 14,178, I would estimate that
12,000 were present. Republicans said 5,000. (You decide whom you want
to trust on these numbers: a Democratic County Treasurer’s daughter…me…
or the President of the Young Republicans.)



While
waiting in the very same arena that recently hosted the Dave Matthews
Band on the America Coming Together tour, the camera panned the crowd
for interesting t-shirts. This camera was like a mock-up of “Star Wars”
and hovered about two feet above my head for much of the night. T-shirt
clad faithful lined up to display their favorite slogans.



Here were the messages on a few:

    “Vote the Son-of-a-Bush Out!”

    “*sses of Evil” (featuring Cheney, Bush and Rumsfeld…also a popular campaign button)

    “Dumb (over George Herbert Bush’s picture) and Dumber” (over George W. Bush’s picture)

    “Are you willing to bet your kid’s life that Bush won’t need more troops?”

    “The War Is A Big Lie”

    “International Terrorist” (with “W’s” picture on the back)

    “Michael Moore for Prez”

    “Poor Laura”

    “Somewhere in Texas, a Village is Missing an Idiot”



There
were detractors when Moore finally appeared onstage. In the upper
balcony to his right, young male Bush supporters, testosterone raging,
were heckling Moore. (He noted, sarcastically, “Oh, great! They’re
behind me and the security is all in front of me!”) Michael sent
someone up to the vocal boys with enlistment paperwork for Iraq,
telling them to sign on the dotted line NOW. He added, “Ain’t no
weapons of mass destruction back at your fraternity house.” The
Republican faithful slunk away, never to be seen again.



Moore
also continued the controversial practice of distributing free
Fruit-of-the-Loom underwear to male slackers and free ramen noodles to
female slackers, who registered to vote at the event. (He’s now a
wanted man in Michigan, his home state, because of this practice, as
you read here on the blog). At one point, he marveled that this Iowa
crowd was the “most registered” of any on the tour so far, out of the
30 cities visited, the mid-point of the 60-city Slacker Tour.



Commenting
that Republicans are welcome at Democratic rallies, Moore said, “That’s
the difference between a Bush rally and our rally: everyone is welcome.
Welcome, our Republican brothers and sisters. Let’s be nice to them,
because they only have a few more weeks in power.” How right he is
about that, said the woman who sneaked into Coors Amphitheatre in
Denver, Colorado, to a Republican rally.



Moore
also promised that, after a Democratic victory in November, “When
you’re the minority, on January 20th, we won’t treat you like you’ve
treated us.”  He warned everyone present, however, that Republican
opponents are hard at work, and that Kerry supporters should be, too.
“They (the Republicans) are relentless, dedicated, without shame,
well-funded and like sharks. They’re up early figuring out which
minority group shouldn’t be allowed to marry. They’re up at the crack
of dawn. We slackers only see the sun if we’ve been up all night
partying.”



Moore
continued to point out that we really ARE “the majority,” pointing out
that all the values that the progressive state of Iowa prizes are those
of the Democratic party. The list included:



1)    The majority of Americans and Iowans do not want to see assault weapons in their streets.

2)    The majority of Americans and Iowans want stronger, not weaker, environmental laws.

3)  
 The majority of Americans and Iowans believe that women should be
paid the same wages for the same work as men.

4)  
 The majority of Americans and Iowans believe that government
shouldn’t have the final say over women’s reproductive rights.



Moore’s
points were applauded, one by one. The crowd often rose to its feet to
applaud his obvious outrage. He also referenced health care, the
minimum wage, stem cell research and bringing our sons and daughters
back from Iraq. However, he had to add, “Excuse me. I made a mistake
there. The sons and daughters of Republicans are not in Iraq.”



Moore
chided “W’s” performance in the debates, especially “W’s” constant
comment that being pResident was “hard work.” He got huge laughs with
Bush’s “What about Poland?” mantra (from the debates).



Michael
pointed out that, in the first debate, George reached for a glass, only
to realize after he had picked it up, that it was empty. Rather than
put it down, he pretended to drink from the empty glass. “They’ll fall
for the illusion. I’ll just make them THINK there’s water in the
glass.” He drew laughter from “W’s” citing of “the Internets.” (sic/
plural) Said Moore, “I wanna’ be on HIS internet. Mine is too f—-n’
slow!”



Making
light of Bush’s ineptness during Debate Number One, and his
barely-improved performance(s) during Debates Two and Three, Moore got
huge laughs reciting Bush’s “Let me finish!” line. “What was that? A
bad acid flashback?” Moore’s theory: Cheney was coaching “W” through
the “little black box.” Probably a very astute theory.



Highlights
of the evening were several commercials that Moore, an Academy-Award
winning film-maker for his documentary “Bowling for Columbine” (and a
potential nominee this year for “Fahrenheit 9/11”) said he had made for
the Bush campaign. A sampling:



Number
One Commercial: Senator Max Cleland, a wheelchair-bound veteran who
lost three limbs in Viet Nam is shown, with the voice-over, “But he
still has one arm. Cowardice!” [This accompanied Moore’s prior quoting
of Bob Dole’s comment on John Kerry’s war wounds, “He didn’t bleed; he
was only shot three times. He didn’t get hit by a bullet; it was only
shrapnel.”] The irony was not lost on the audience.



Number
Two Commercial (Duck): “When the bullets were flying, he ducked. Do you
want a President who will duck?” Footage of John Kerry’s Viet Nam
service, dodging bullets in a heavily forested area,  accompanied
this blurb.



Number
Three Commercial: “Long hair” (Picture of Kerry as a young soldier).
“Short hair. Two words. Flip flop” (thongs shown onscreen).



Number
Four Commercial (Fish):  “Lieutenant James Rassman says that Kerry
pulled men out of the river in Viet Nam. Men do not live in the river.
Fish do. John Kerry tells a big fish tale.”



Number
Five Commercial: First we see a Chevrolet. Then we see a Ford. Then we
see Kerry on a bicycle. “How many more positions will John Kerry take?
Bush lets others do the driving. (“W” is shown, characteristic smirk on
face, being driven about in a golf cart.)



Number
Six Commercial:  “58,000 American soldiers died in Viet Nam. John
Kerry wasn’t one of them. If he truly loved his country, he would have
died in Viet Nam.” Then we see “W” teeing off on the golf course, sappy
smirk on face.



Moore
discussed Ralph Nader’s perennial candidacy in these words: “America is
going down a very dark road. One of the traits of a great leader is the
ability to listen. Your own party doesn’t want you to run, Ralph. This
isn’t your year. The stakes are too high. You cannot work out your
anger issues on the ballot. There are anger management classes for
that.” He added, “Ralph has all the right positions, but the chance of
Nader’s beating Bush is about the same as this woman in the front row:
none.”



Moore
became more vitriolic towards Nader’s candidacy, often blamed for
costing Gore the 2000 election, saying, “This election isn’t about you
(Nader). It’s about that woman from Flint, Michigan, who lost her son
in Iraq. Get a f—–g clue!”



Two things that Moore revealed to the crowd that probably were not known prior to his speech: On
July 22, in the “Washington Post,” a reporter named Dana Millbank did a
story on the plane that carried the Bin Laden family out of the United
States just eight days after the 9/11 attack. Millbank got the
plane’s tail number and, from that, investigated and learned that the
plane that carried the Bin Laden family out of the country (without
taking statements from them prior to their departure) was a plane
frequently used as the Bush White House Press Plane. This story was
buried by the mainstream press, although “Vanity Fair’s” editor finally
wrote an eloquent editorial commentary blowing the whistle on this
travesty.



Moore
also took some pot-shots at the mainstream press, saying that the
mainstream media have misled the American people. “They were more
interested in going for a ride on a tank. They disgraced their
profession. They didn’t do their jobs. They should have demanded the
evidence. And 1100 American soldiers are dead as a result. I cannot
tell you the level of anger I have at our mainstream media.”  (Im
not mainstream, Michael; I’m on http://www.blogforiowa.com and telling it like
it is, just like you.)



These
references to Bush’s “embedding” of  press…which we all now
recognize as a euphemism for “censoring and neutering” of the
mainstream press….hit home. He told of a hostile interview with Matt
Lauer, who attacked him on the “Today” show. Moore to Lauer: “If you
had spent one-tenth of the energy you just spent attacking me finding
out the truth about Iraq, we wouldn’t be in this mess. Why didn’t you
do your job?”



Referring
to his Award-winning documentary, “Fahrenheit 9/11,” Moore said,
“There’s something wrong when you have to go pay $8 to get the news.”
As a baby-boomer who remembers the constant footage of Viet Nam, body
bags and all, being beamed into our living rooms every evening during
the sixties, I must agree with Moore. And when a respected reporter
like Dan Rather attempts to report anything the least bit unflattering
(i.e., “W’s” record with the reserve), smear tactics begin.



Much
humor came from Moore’s oral rendering of portions of “My Pet Goat.” It
seems that “My Pet Goat,” which the President sat, glassy-eyed,
listening to, while third-graders read it aloud on 9/11, is a story
about a car-jacking. “The robber was bending over the seat of the car.
The car robber said, ‘Something hit me when I was trying to steal your
car” (i.e., the goat.) The girl smiled. The dad smiled. The car-jacker
did not smile.”



Moore’s
retort: “What-the-hell was the pResident doing reading a story about a
car-jacking to third graders? And why didn’t he get up and leave
sooner, after Andrew Carr whispered in his ear, ‘America is under
attack!’ Did he just want to find out what happened to the goat? Added
Moore, “S–t!  The pResident sat in that classroom for 7 minutes
and he spent another 20 minutes in the school after that. When asked
why, he said, ‘I didn’t want to scare the kids.’ It seems to me that,
if you are the pResident of the United States and your country is being
attacked, you are the Number One Target, so get-the-hell away from 300
third-graders.” (Roars of appreciative laughter).



Moore
showed a CNN snippet of “W” coming out of his closed testimony to the
9/11 Commission, (an appearance he fought making at all for over a
year). It was classic “Bush Light.” He smirked. He smiled. He refused
to discuss the topics, saying, “It’s probably best that I not go into
the details of the conversation, but the Vice pResident answered all
their questions.” (Telling)  He said, “We discussed a lot of
things; it was a very cordial conversation.” Another question was asked
by a reporter, and Bush responded, irritated, saying, “I told you I
wasn’t going to give you any details, and then I fell into your trap!”
The man did not look like a mental giant. I’ve seen more intelligent
responses from Koko, the gorilla.



Moore
statement: “This war in Iraq has become a recruitment film for Al
Qaeda,” noting that Bush, the younger is, “One of the most corrupt and
brutal pResidents we have ever seen.” Moore clarified Bush’s shouted
barb at him (“Hey, Mike! Go find real work!”), which has been seen in
his film(s), was made four years ago “here in Ames.” And he added,
“Bush made a mistake in telling me to go get a real job,” a reference
to the Cannes-award-winning documentary “Fahrenheit 9/11” giving us the
real truth on the Iraq war, which may well garner an Oscar bid for Best
Picture at the end of this year.



Moore
read some of the letters from his latest book (Will They Ever Trust Us
Again?), which features letters from soldiers in Viet Nam, and
continued, “I just haven’t seen anything like this in my lifetime. This
is an illegal and immoral war and we need to say that over and over.”



Another
bit of information that shocks: When the attack (“Shock and Awe”)
against Iraq began, we were zero for 50 in hitting our targets. “Who do
you think died then, Mr. pResident? We will pay for this war for years
to come, Mr. Bush. And I feel that’s the future that Bush and Cheney
and Rumsfeld have given us. And I want them out of office RIGHT NOW!”



Moore:
“You have a proud, progressive, independent history in Iowa. It’s all
gonna come down to you,” citing the polls that show what a close
Presidential race it will be. And, on a more light-hearted note, he
said, to his student listeners, “Take this pledge: sleep till noon.
Drink beer. Vote Kerry on November 2nd.”



Or, putting it in Slacker terms: “Pick nose. Pick b–t. Pick Kerry.”