Queerer Alert



by Cam Lindquist, 365gay.com



A dash of humor with some good sharp points thrown in



…I am
one to err on the side of caution nine out of ten times, but these
constant terror alerts have to make you wonder if they are just blowing
smoke in our faces to keep us wondering.



So
between this terror issue and the attack on the gay community through
legislation I think it is time for us, the GLBTI & Friends
community, to fight back! And of course, I have a plan.



Just for a refresher, here are the government's five levels of terror alerts:



* Low (Green) – low risks of terrorist attacks

* Guarded (Blue) – general risk of terrorist attacks

* Elevated (Yellow) – significant risks of terrorist attacks

* High (Orange) – high risks of terrorist attacks

* Severe (Red) – severe risk of terrorist attacks



I think
that the gay community, in response to attacks on us, should issue the
Queerer Alerts. Alerts which will let the conservative community know
what they should expect to see in their streets and on their TV's
should they continue to viciously attack GLBTI American Citizens.



* Low (Metallic Emerald) – low risks of queer uproar

* Guarded (Slate) – general risk of queer uproar

* Elevated (Sunflower) – significant risks of queer uproar

* High (Rust) – high risks of queer uproar

* Severe (Magenta) – severe risk of queer uproar

* Extreme (Fuchsia) – extreme risk of queer uproar



You may
have noticed two things about our list in comparison to theirs. First,
I made our list as vague as theirs. After all why should they have an
advantage over the rest of us when dealing with alerts? If GW can
arbitrarily increase the level because no real definition exists, so
can we!



…For
our clarification here within the community, here are some examples of
what I see as situations that might call for levels of Queerer Alert. I
am going to leave you with this list as my final thought. Because if
you think my list is ridiculous, just consider where I got the idea
from – Good ole GW.



* Low
(Metallic Emerald) – Massachusetts, home of the Democratic National
Convention and currently the exclusive state (actually they are a
commonwealth) that provides marital rights to gay couples, would be
under low risk of queer uproar. They should expect an influx of gay
people to pour revenue into their state through the tourist industry
and local GLBTI people spending money at home instead of abroad.



Read the whole essay here.