“The Ladykillers” and the Beltway Crowd: A Review



By Connie Corcoran Wilson, M.S.



Tom
Hanks has a new film out, The Ladykillers, in which he portrays
Goldthwaite Higgenson Door, PhD., the leader of a misfit band of
criminals intent on pulling off a robbery in Pascagoula, Mississippi. I
couldn’t help but notice that some of the gang of miscreants reminded
me of a certain Washington, D.C. bunch of Beltway insiders. In his role
as the deceitful, duplicitous, but oh-so-cultured leader of the pack,
the star would be analogous to our own VP Richard “Dick” (emphasis on
“Dick”) Cheney. Quote: “I will take care of the matter as only a
highly-educated classicist could.”



There is
a character called “Lump” in the film. I’ll let you use your
imagination on that one. It shouldn’t be too hard to figure out which
of the White House bunch is “Lump.” Lump seems to have a soft heart.
Unfortunately, there does not seem to be much else going on in his
cranium. Lump is just “there,” recruited because the gang might need
some brute strength. Even the Professor says of him, “To look at Lump,
you might wonder what he will be able to offer to our enterprise.”
(What, indeed?) At one point in the film, Hanks berates Lump, saying,
“You stupid boy. You very, very extremely stupid boy.”



The
audience kind of likes Lump, though, just as you like a small, stupid
puppy. But Lump is definitely not too bright.  However, it is Lump
who, at one point, suggests that they bribe Mr. Gudge (Stephen Root,
who played Milton in “Office Space”), the casino boss who has just
fired the “inside man,” as played by Marlon Wayans, (the least likeable
of the Wayans brothers). In other words, Lump occasionally has his
“even-a-blind-pig-finds-an-acorn-once-in-a-while” moment(s).



The plot
has Professor Goldthwaite and his accomplices renting Mrs. Marva
Munson’s rooming house as a base of operations to rob the public blind
by tunneling to the nearby Bandit Queen gambling casino to rob the
counting room. (Gee! This sounds very familiar….robbing the trusting
public for personal gain….but lying to them about what is really going
on. Hmmmmmm. Where have I encountered this plot recently?)



Mrs.
Munson, as played by black actress Irma P. Hall, (who more than holds
her own against the accomplished Mr. Hanks), is a basically good and
kind-hearted lady who is trusting,…. but not so trusting that she
doesn’t…eventually…become quite suspicious of the goings-on in her
basement. Professor Goldthwaite has assured her that the others who
periodically join him in the root cellar are merely members of a
“band,” practicing their antique instruments, one of which is the
sackbutt, assigned to “Lump.” (At one point, when Mrs. Munson demands a
concert from the band for her visiting ladies’ group, Lump says,
“Uh….Professor. I can’t really play the sackbutt.”)



Well, no. Nor do much of anything else correctly, either, poor guy.



It is
most revealing that, in later conversation, the Professor tells Lump,
“Now, Lump, it falls to you to finish the job.  I am the
Professor…the thinker. You are a goon, a hooligan, a dumb brute. Do not
repeat the error of thinking. Now you must act.” (Gee…this is beginning
to remind me more and more of something else.)



Mrs.
Munson has a highly-developed B.S. detector, and, therefore, says to
the Professor at one point, “You can double-talk all you want. I’m
sorry. It’s just plain wrong,” after uncovering the gang’s plot to rob
the casino. In fact, she demands that the $1.6 million be returned to
the casino and the robbers join her at church.  I identified quite
a bit with the sweet widow Munson, and not just because that was my
mother’s maiden name. [My grandmother Monson, who came to this country
at age thirteen, was Dutch. Somehow, I don’t think this Mrs. Munson is
Dutch]. Mrs. Munson has an abiding respect and reverence for Bob Jones
University (otherwise known as BJU) and this, too, reminded me of some
of the Beltway Insiders.



In fact,
as I recall, our pResident (or pOTUS, as he is known in Dick Clarke’s
book) announced his first run for the Presidency at BJU, setting off a
huge firestorm when it was revealed that BJU had a policy against
inter-racial dating, (among other things). You really root (pun
intended….as in “root cellar”) for Mrs. Munson throughout the film. You
know that she is basically a good person who is being deceived and used
and who, if she were fully informed and aware of the devious plan that
the Professor has devised to rob the unsuspecting public, would never
go along with it. Mrs. Munson seems like a very good “stand-in” for the
law-abiding U.S. population, savvy and sweet in equal proportions, and
not about to be fooled forever by the likes of Professor Goldthwaite
Higginson Door, PhD.  That is the point at which Hanks’ character
decides that Mrs. Munson has to go, as in “Murder, he said.” But, when
attempts to knock the old woman off don’t go as planned, Hanks mutters,
“The old woman is a more formidable antagonist than one had imagined.”



[We can
only hope so, in the scheme of things, representative as she is of John
Q. Public, manipulated by the PTB for their good,…but not for hers].



We hear
the Professor proudly informing the Widow of his pedigree (his father
was “Librarian of the State Nervous Hospital”) and reciting poetry,
non-stop, while saying things like “We academics are inordinately fond
of wedging ourselves in to confined spaces.” I wonder(ed) if those
confined spaces might include a flight suit on an aircraft carrier deck
towed out to sea for a photo op (at great expense), or even an entire
country….say, Iraq?



My
favorite character, however, was the military expert, Garth Pancake
(J.K Simmons) representative of military experts everywhere.
All-knowing. Authoritative. Brooking no opposition or discussion. At
one point, Mr. Pancake is demonstrating explosives and accidentally
blows off his finger, causing what Hanks terms “a premature
detonation.” [I couldn’t help but think of the General pictured on the
web who nodded off and bonked himself in the head at the microphone
stand while giving a briefing.]



Poor
Garth also suffers from IBS…irritable bowel syndrome…and, besides
milking it for comic relief in the film, he has met his girlfriend,
“Mountain Girl” at a one-day seminar for IBS in the Catskills. He
constantly lectures Marlon Wayan’s character about IBS and the 2
million people it affects, causing Marlon to respond, “I don’t want to
hear about this sh–.” (Hey! It’s a direct quote from the film; don’t
blame me. And, I might add, “Ditto.” For both groups.)



After
Mr. Pancake maims himself through his own stupidity, while
demonstrating his explosive(s) expertise, he suggests that he should
get “a larger share” of the loot, since he is now being called “Nubby”
by Marlon Wayans’ character. He mentions that if he had been on the
job, workmen’s comp would have reimbursed him for the loss of his
finger, (which Mrs. Munson’s cat grabs  and escapes with). Hanks
responds, “Now that is simply asinine. Government regulations and
oversight cannot be assumed to apply to anti-social pursuits.”



Well, we certainly have been learning THAT the hard way!



This is
a Joel and Ethan Coen (“Fargo”) movie. Barry Sonnenfeld (“Diner”) has a
producing credit. The music is straight gospel, romping and stomping
with great vitality, credit to T. Bone Burnett (black choir billed as
the “Mighty, Mighty Clouds of Joy” performing in Memphis).



I won’t
reveal the ending. That wouldn’t be sporting. But I will give you
another quote from the film:  “I smite; you smite; he done smote.”
(I’ll say he did!)



The End