Fifty Ways to Leave Iraq, Now!



By Connie Corcoran Wilson



(Sung to the tune of Simon & Garfunkel's “Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover”)



The situation's not as bad as that, they said to us….

The answer's easy if you only learn to trust…

We'd like to help them in their struggle to be free.

And then it's: 50 ways to leave Iraq, now.

Give Iraqis back their land, now.



That said, it's really not our habit to intrude…

I hope our meaning won't be lost or misconstrued…

So let's repeat this phrase, at the risk of being rude…

There must be: 50 ways to leave Iraq, now.



Chorus:



Just give back the oil, Doyle. Jump on the plane, Dwayne!

Put a local in charge there. Just listen to me.

We'll never be welcome; it's a problem that's large, boys.

It certainly looms large, in the search to be free.





They said, “It grieves me so to see you in such pain…

We wish there were something we could do to make things sane.

I said, “I appreciate that. Then would you please explain? About…

The 50 ways to leave Iraq, now.



Bush said, “Why don't we both just sleep on it tonight?

And I believe, that, some time soon you'll see the light.

And then a bomb exploded, obscuring our plain sight

Of the 50 ways to leave Iraq, now.



(Chorus repeats)



(Copyright,
2004, by Connie Corcoran Wilson. Feel free to reproduce the above, as
long as you do not change it and give proper attribution. Please try
singing it, first, as I think it will be far more humorous if I can
imagine all of you singing. Order my book “Both Sides Now” from
Barnes&Noble or Amazon.com if you wish to read similar comedic
pieces. And check out the interview now running on www.Booksandauthors.net (me and the DaVinci code dude.)